As you go through the divorce process, you and your ex might experience a whole range of feelings, including pain or anger. Maybe you feel bitter toward your ex about the way your marriage came to an end. In turn, not being happy with the situation might cause you or your ex to say mean things about one another — face-to-face or behind each other’s backs.
Unfortunately, this isn’t a productive way to move on from the negativity you were hoping to detach from after your divorce was final. Plus, it creates a toxic environment for your children to be in when their parents speak poorly about one another.
Making mean remarks about your child’s other parent in front of them or responding with a snarky comment when your child talks about their other parent can cause the child to be conflicted. It may also lead to parental alienation. And this alienation can damper your child’s connection with their parents.
Your children might feel like they need to separate themselves from one parent because of your opinion of your ex. Or they might be confused about which parent they can trust. Both of which can take a toll on your child’s mental health
Instead of burdening your children with opinions and feelings that you should direct toward your ex, you should develop a stronger co-parent communication plan. You might find consulting a legal professional to be helpful if you can’t seem to develop a way to find middle ground on your own. It might also be useful for you to connect with other divorced parents through a support group or air out all grievances through therapy. Even if you are never able to fully cast aside all your differences, learning to get along, especially in front of your children, will positively impact everyone who is or was once part of your family.