Child custody options evolve over time. One of the newest options to gain some traction is known as nesting, or bird-nesting. Is it a terrific new solution that will change custody proceedings forever? Or is it a fad that will die out in time and get replaced by something else?
What is it?
First off, let’s take a look at how it works. With a traditional custody schedule, you own a home and so does your ex (or you rent a home or apartment). If you split up custody between the two of you, your kids essentially have two homes. When it’s your ex’s turn with them, they live there. When it’s your turn, you pick them up or your ex drops them off, and they live with you. Each house or apartment is your home base, and the kids come and go.
With nesting, it is the children who get a home base. They live in one house, 100 percent of the time. When your ex has custody, they live in the home with the kids. When you have custody, your ex moves out and you move in. The home gets referred to as your “nest” and it’s often just the house the two of you owned and lived in together during your marriage.
What are the advantages?
The advantages here all belong to the kids. Modern custody plans often focus on their best interests, and this could be the ultimate way to do that.
With nesting, children spend less time on the road and in the car. They still feel settled and secure in the same home. They never have to worry about forgetting school books or toys or anything else at the “other” house. They stay in the same school district and the same class. They have the same friends and neighbors nearby.
Do you want your children to feel like nothing really changed when their parents got divorced? You can never completely do that, but this is probably as close as it gets.
Is it a fad?
So, is it a fad? It’s not so much that it is a fad, but it’s also not realistic for everyone. It takes a fair amount of money. The parents need to own the “nest” house together, and they both have to have homes or apartments to go to when not living in the nest.
They also have to work together and get along. Cooperation and communication are key. They share the same living spaces and see one another almost as much as they did during the marriage.
However, it does help to show why you and your ex need to look into all of your options while going through a divorce. Consider your children’s needs and what you can do to put their best interests first.