When children are going to be going through a divorce, one of the best things their parents can do is help them do so with grace and dignity. Parents can do this by upholding their values and making sure to treat their ex-partners with respect, even in the most volatile times.
When you think about your children, you need to remember that they are both yours and your ex-spouse’s. They share your DNA, and that means that anything you say that is negative about the other parent reflects directly on your child. Even though this isn’t the intention, it’s how it could be perceived. That’s why being respectful of your ex-spouse is among the most important steps to helping your children respond well to divorce.
Talking about divorce helps
Another helpful tip for getting your children through a divorce successfully is talking about the divorce with them. They need to hear it from you that they weren’t the cause of the divorce. In fact, if you and your estranged or ex-spouse can sit down together with your kids and have a discussion about divorce, it will show that you’re still a united front when it comes to your children. This helps kids bounce back quickly, because while their homes may change, their parents are still there for them. That support system is vital to their overall psychological health.
If your children are having a hard time coping, then it’s possible to bring in a professional. Therapists can play an important role in their overall health and wellness.
Keep your routine
Finally, remember to keep your routines as similar as possible. Even if this means working with your ex-spouse to work out a nightly routine for bed or developing a custody schedule that rarely changes, it’s worth it for the sake of your kids’ psyche. Children respond well to routines, and keeping similar routines will help them know what to expect every day. They’ll be familiar with what both parents want from them and what they need to do each night, so that they can go on with life instead of feeling as if everything around them has changed.
Divorce does lead to many changes, and children are bound to sense at least a few. However, if you and your ex-spouse are able to work together to keep things as similar to the way they were during your marriage as possible, then it’s going to be easier to help your children get through the worst of the divorce without any major conflicts.